TRADING STUPID SEX THINGS

 

TRADING STUPID SEX THINGS

It was right before Thanksgiving, and I thought I heard someone crying. It took me a second, but I 

eventually realized it was coming from out back. Like, in my own backyard. Of course, part of me 

wanting nothing to do with it, but the better part of me won out, and I headed towards the sound 

to see if someone I loved was in need of anything I could offer. 

Out in the yard, I found my Mom in tears. Now… That’s bad and all, don’t get me wrong; but the 

context! The visual of that situation had me just, super fucking confused! Because my mom was 

crying, topless, and dressed as a satyr, or a nymph, or a goat, or something like it. She was 

wearing knee high boots, but instead of having fur tops, the whole boot was fur, and the bottom 

of the boot was done in a way that made it look like she had hooves. She was wearing an 

INSANELY tight and small pair of booty shorts that basically covered her um, “vertical lines”, and 

nothing else. Plus, they had a tail! Like, a fluffy little goat tale, or nymph maybe… something like 

that! She was wearing a white fur scarf, and these arm warmers that looked like she cut the 

sleeves off of a really nice white winter sweater, and just left the sleeves on, and to top it all off 

she had two long horns, and two long ears… I wanna say Faun… I should have paid more 

attention in Greek Mythology I guess. 

Anyway… Remember that part about her sleeves? That was it. That was everything she was 

wearing from her waist to her neck! My Mom’s incredible, locally famous, absolutely massive tits 

were covered by nothing more than her folded arms. 

Mom eventually saw me there, and, very carefully, wiped her tears away with one hand; careful 

to keep her breasts covered with one arm. A feat all by itself, because again, her tits were that 

“too big” size that was actually perfect if you were a guy who got to look at them. I’m obsessing a 

bit, I know, but seriously. 

So, she turned to me, composed herself, and apologized. Which bothered me a little, like, she 

didn’t need to apologize for being “caught” being upset. I mean, I get that she’s “Mom”, with a 

capital M, but I was 18 at that point, and had figured out that she wasn’t actually an indestructible 

superhero, she was just really cool. I told her as much, which made her tear up a bit more; and I 

didn’t know what to do with that. So, I did my best to ignore how incredibly hot (and strange) she 

looked, and asked her what was wrong. 

And, She. Went. Off. 

Mom starting ranting about how her and Dad had a lot of weird sex things that they did together, 

but how there was always stuff that was just them, and how she suggested that they could do 

tit-for-tat with them, but then she did Dad’s “stupid sex thing”, but he said her’s was just weird 

when he saw the outfit that she bought, and he just left her high and dry. 

Now, at some point during her explanation, Mom started talking with her hands. So like, I caught 

the gist of it, but I was STARING at her beautiful, and suddenly naked breasts. When Mom was 

done with her rant, she actually laughed, gave my jaw a nudge upward with one hand, and said, 

“My eyes are up here kiddo.” 

But, she’d gone from crying to smiling, so, I took it. Also, it was both very hot, and very cool 

getting to have a conversation with my Mom while she was just, casually naked and talking to me 

about kinky sex stuff. Like, it made me feel really included somehow. I don’t know. 

So, I didn’t know a sensitive way to put it, so I sort of ended up gesturing vaguely at Mom’s 

weirdly sexy outfit and asking, “Was it… was it the goat thing?” At that Mom’s laughed so loudly 

and so suddenly that it came out in this half adorable, half dorky sounding snort laugh. That 

made her cover her mouth and blush, which, remember, she was totally naked… and blushing 

because she snort laughed… but okay. After she composed herself, she gestured downward like 

she was wearing a princess ball gown and corrected me, “Faun, actually.” 

“And yes,” she said, seeming to gain a little bit of confidence. “I kind of like the costume, and I 

thought…” she said, putting extreme emphasis on the words. “That it would be hot being bent 

over and fucked, and used, and cummed inside of… while I was also all soft and cuddly and 

stuff.” She put her hands on her hips then, and I was suddenly very aware that Mom’s body 

wasn’t just on display, it was being deliberately put on display for my approval. And uh, I fucking 

approved. So I said so! I told her she looked hot, and while, the goat/faun thing didn’t do it for me, 

only a fucking idiot would pass up a chance to have sex with her in that outfit. 

Mom’s smile was now genuine, and then, after a few seconds, she gave me this… once over 

thing. Like, she totally scanned me, and checked me out with her eyes. Then her smile went 

from genuine, to legitimately sexual. I mean, I’d seen that look before… I’d just never seen it 

pointed right at me like that! It was very intense. 

Then Mom asked, like she was half joking, “Don’t supposed you have any stupid sex things you 

want to trade for, do you slugger?” I gulped. That was a WHOLE lot to ask. Especially from my 

Mom, as she stood gorgeous, sexual, and naked in front of me. But, I did my best to fortify my 

nerves, and actually replied, “That depends on whether or not you’re serious Mom.” When I said 

it, she gave me this look. Like, she was intrigued, but she was also really impressed with me, 

maybe even a little proud of me for stepping up like that. “And what if I am?” She asked, putting 

her hand on her hip and making both her tone and her body language even more sexual. But, I 

wasn’t about to fuck up my relationshp with my Mom for LIFE because she looked extra hot that 

morning. 

“Not good enough.” I said as matter of factly as I could. At first, I don’t think she knew what I 

meant, and her expression wavered from curious, to confused, to “best be damn sure you are 

speaking properly to your Mother young man”. 

So, I clarified. Carefully, but, I was also clear with my tone that I meant what I said. “Mom, I don’t 

want to tell you one of my secret, kinda embarrassing ‘stupid sex things’ unless I know, 100%, 

that you are for real. That, you are offering a real thing, and that if you aren’t cool with it, I haven’t 

messed anything up by revealing something too kinky to you. Okay?”

Mom got a very thoughtful look for a minute. Then she stepped close, looked me dead in the eye, 

and gave me a serious nod as she said, “I promise sweetie. Whatever you say to me is 100% 

safe with Mommy, and yes, I’ve decided that I am serious. So, don’t even even say yours, unless 

you actually want to…” then she blushed again, and looked down and a way for a second as she 

said, “You know... “ Finally, after a second, she looked back up and, with a shrug finished with, “... 

trade stupid sex things.” 

It didn’t take me long to decide. Despite the faun outfit, Mom was still a smoking hot, half naked 

milf who looked like sex itself standing in front of me topless. Plus… there was the fetish she 

was asking after. Which I then told her was, “I uh. I have a Mom/Son fetish. I think Mom’s are, I 

mean. I think you are, SUPER hot.” 

Now we were both blushing, but mine was about to get way worse. Mom nodded, went back to 

the spot by the fence I’d found her standing at originally, and retrieved a piece of paper from the 

ground. She brought it over to me, handed it to me, and told me to go back inside and read the 

piece of paper several times. To do my best to memorize it; and when I was ready, to come back 

out. 

I was a little caught up in the moment, so I didn’t question it, I just nodded, took the paper, and 

went back inside. When I was back in the house, I read it over and, it was all dirty dialogue. It 

was lines about how soft her fur was, and what a naughty thing she was, and when it would be a 

good time to call her a good girl, and when it would be a good time to call her a bad girl. There 

were things she wanted to hear about her horns, and things she wanted me to do with them…

I read it all over, and absorbed as much of it as I could. Then I went back outside and saw a very 

nice goat lady, whom I owned, waiting there. 

I SOOooo wanted to comment on how amazing it was for me a few minutes later, when I was 

looking down into my own Mother’s eyes as I “held her by the horns” and she sucked my cock; 

but this wasn’t supposed to be my fantasy. I mean, it totally fucking was! But it wasn’t supposed 

to be. So I used my lines, followed her scripted fantasy, and in the process, I literally bent my 

Mom over in our backyard, pulled the bottom of her shorts to the side, and fucked her hard until I 

came inside of her!

When we were all done, as per Mom’s written request, I kept the act up until she’d gone inside, 

cleaned up, and changed clothes. When we spoke again a few hours later, Mom took a second 

to ask me if I was okay, but the moment I said yeah, she went straight into gushing and fangirling 

about how amazing it had been for her. How I’d said all the things right, and how good it had 

sounded to hear those lines be said to her by a real man, and not just be something she wrote 

about. She was SO happy. 

When she’d finished talking about how wonderful the whole fantasy had been for her, she asked 

me again if I was okay with all of it. And when I assured her that I’d, “had fun too”, she gave me a 

playful shove, a coy, sexual look, and she tucked a strand of loose hair back behind her ear as 

she said, “I could tell.” Then she took out a piece of paper and a pencil, wrote “things I want Mom 

to say/do/describe” on the top of it, and handed it to me saying, “Homework. I want this back in 

my hand before bedtime tonight young man. Tomorrow is a very busy day for Mommy, and I have 

no intention of letting you forget that we still need to do ‘your thing’. Got it?” I took the paper and 

nodded, but she frowned and gave me this look that told me exactly how she expected to be 

answered. So I verbalized, “Yes Mom”, and that, it turned out, was all she needed to hear. With 

that, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, and we just, went about our days. Like we hadn’t 

pretended that she was a hot goat lady, and we hadn’t had sex while Dad was at work.

The next day was Thanksgiving, and though I’d given Mom my list the night before, she was 

extremely busy. She was cooking, and baking, and socializing and serving the whole day. So, for 

the most part, it was just business as usual. I greeted family members, tried not to look like I was 

avoiding people, avoided people, and helped Mom out wherever I could. Later in the evening, 

some people went home, some people passed out in food comas, and most of the guys went 

back to Dad’s shed (he had it set up as a room for watching tv) to watch sports. 

While that was happening, I was hanging out in my room. Until I heard the holiday music that 

was piping through the house get a little louder, and then a moment later, Mom walked in… She 

had a handful of “regular” clothes in her hand, but she quickly closed the door, and set those 

aside. Instead of any kind of outfit, she was just wearing this really sexy robe that she sometimes 

slipped into when she didn’t feel like getting dressed again after a late shower. She then explained to 

me that while she’d considered wearing lingerie, she realized that I saw her in that robe around 

the house all the time, and she thought I might like it if I made something ordinary into something 

erotic… considering the nature of my fantasy. 

I nodded dumbly. Even after yesterday, I still couldn’t believe that what was happening was 

happening. My head felt like it was on fire. I mean, we say things are hot all the time, but I could 

feel heat inside me like it was burning me up, and it was kind of awesome. Mom’s cleavage 

looked incredible peeking out of the robe as she talked, and I knew without being told that there 

was nothing on underneath it. Mom told me I would be seeing her in that robe a lot more often 

going forward, as a secret reminder from her to me about what was about to happen. 

I almost asked her what was about to happen, just to hear her say it. But I didn’t want to push my 

luck. If we did anything at all that was sexual, it would still, even after the day before, be a fantasy 

come to life, and a dream come true. But I needn’t have worried, because as hard as I’d tried to 

make Mom’s fantasy come true, I’d been an amatuer compared to her. She read my list of things 

I wanted her to say and do, and then she memorized, read between the lines, and thought of 50 

things I would have come up with if I’d been 10 times more imaginative, and twice as sexually 

depraved. 

She started with innocent questions, like asking if I thought she had a pretty face, and later she 

twisted those same questions as she sucked my cock, dragged it across her cheek, and used it 

to make both her cheeks and her throat bulge out. 

She confessed her secret lusts for me, and told me what a dirty slut she was and she made me 

believe it. She told me that she’d always, deep down, been a dirty whore, and that she wanted 

me to see that side of her desperately. 

Basically, she said every filthy, depraved, naughty, slutty little thing that I’d ever wished I could 

hear her say, and then she thought up some new ones and combined them with visuals of her 

tits wrapped around my cock, and her wedding band smeared with my pre-cum before she 

licked it clean. 

Before that night, I never knew that I desperately wanted her to hear my own Mom begging me to 

“cum on Mommy’s face”, but after that night I recalled her saying it whenever I needed to cum. It 

was amazing. It was beyond amazing. It was beyond whatever the fuck was beyond the last 

thing I said because it was my literal most secret, depraved, and impossible fantasy; and it 

actually came true!

When it was all done, and Mom slowly came out of her “wanton whore” character, she cleaned 

up, told me that I’d been “wonderful”, and got dressed into her regular clothes in case anyone 

saw her leaving my bedroom. Later that night, I ran into Mom in the kitchen when she was 

cleaning up after everyone had left, and, just like she’d done before, I gushed about how 

incredible it had been for me. But when I did it, I whispered, because we weren’t alone in the 

house like we had been the first time. 

As I ranted, Mom just smiled, and cleaned, and looked thoroughly pleased with herself. After 

about an hour of praising her, I finally worked up the courage to ask if, what we’d done was 

something that we could ever do again. For Mom’s part, she didn’t miss a beat. She just smirked 

playfully and said, “that depends… are you okay with doing mine again?” 

I could tell from her smile that she knew my answer before I spoke. I mean, yeah! I could “suffer 

through” having my Mom dress up like a fantasy creature so she could suck my Cock and call 

me Master in exchange for depraved sexual fantasies with her that I literally got to script! Are you 

fucking kidding me?!?

So, it became a regular thing. I would have been surprised that she never seemed to tire of it, 

but, god fucking knows that I didn’t tire of mine so, to each their own I guess. Then, Mom hit me 

with a surprise right around Christmas, when she asked me if I would consider doing something 

special for her for the holiday. Normally, I’d have jumped at the chance, but something about her 

expression made me hesitate. Then, when she took about a pair of boots in my size that would 

make MY feet look like hooves, and I noticed a box behind her that I had to assume had some 

kind of male furry creature outfit in it that just so happened to be in my size; I got real suspicious 

real fast. 

Like, I wasn’t yelling no or anything, but, I needed a moment to process. Then Mom, seemingly a 

little desperate, scooted in really close to me, and, with a hand placed on my thigh, she 

whispered a proposal into my ear. “I know this is a bit more than you originally bargained for 

sweetie, I do. I know, it’s, a bit of an escalation. I do! Really… But, I’ve also noticed that, the 

things that you like Mommy to say the most, are more about what a slut I am, than they are about 

you. I mean, you LIKE me talking about how big your cock is, but you LOVE when I tell you what 

a whore I am for it. And so, I was thinking, that maybe, just maybe, you would be more okay with 

doing something like this for me, if maybe I did something a little more for you… What do you 

think?”

I didn’t know where she was going with this, but even with zero info on her intentions, something 

about the way she was suggesting… whatever “IT” was, was getting me warm under the collar 

all over again. So, I asked her what she meant, and she explained. With a secretive smile, she 

nestled up to me and crushed my arm into her massive, soft, breasts. “Well slugger,” she 

started. “Imagine that I really am a whore. Like, bought and paid for. You are a multi-millionaire, 

and you can make me do whatever you want, wherever you want, to whoever you want…” She 

was watching my face, and delighting in my reactions.

Her lips touched my ear as she whispered, “How about a blowjob in an alley, or a little road head 

on a trip to the store? What if we roleplayed that I was a stripper or a prostitute, and you caught 

Mommy doing some very naughty things? Or… what if you wanted to see me get REALLY 

naughty. Like… more than 1 cock in me naughty?”

Then she leaned back, and scooted the package with the crazy animal man outfit in it towards 

me. And if you think I put that thing on… then you are damn fucking right I did! Because unlike my 

Father, I wasn’t an idiot. And I was totally happy with trading my stupid sex things for her stupid 

sex things; and I always, ALWAYS, would be!